Vee-Freak

I turn 38 on Tuesday, March 1st. I miss my mother more on my birthday than I do on her birthday, Feb 19th. If there's one person in my entire family that never forgot about me (even my bio dad, I shit you not, could never be bothered to remember) and no one acted like I mattered at all once I reached adulthood. I still get well wishes and cards from friends and the in-laws and that means the world to me, but... it's just not the same. No one could truly, fully replace the touching Mother to Daughter cards. We had our disagreements, but she never had a mean word to say every March 1st. It mattered so much to know that I wasn't forgotten, but when she died, no one cared anymore. She wasn't there to remind anyone that hey, she exists, you should say something.... Her death left behind such a huge chasm of deafening silence, turning the pain of her loss into something beyond that, something so gut-wrenching that it became tangible (ever cry so hard you throw up? Yeah, that was me). She was